I've finally talked.

I talked about it all...All i had locked inside me.

Im s0o completely calm right now, even though i know so many things in my life arent right..& are so flicted.

Yet i cant help feeling relaxed and momentarily sane. It's such an odd feeling..I guess cuz it's been too long since i've been at peace with myself.

I feel no anger...hate..sorrow..

just passion..A passion for what?Just passion..for my writing & music.

It's what i love..what i do..part of who i am.

it's helped me grow..mentally.

Its my refugee...instead of talking about shyt, i simply write..or sing.

Im in a state right now of no emotions..

almost completely dazed out(in angie land lol)..Talking about things have rid me of the rest of my supressed anger and resentment i had been feeling for too long.

How simple my life could have been..had i chosen to speak about all the shyt i kept bottled inside.

But it never occured to me..because im the one ppl come to for help...its never the other way around.I dont like to worry ppl with my problems..have their sympathy.

Im the one who acts strong..( but is really weak)..::i feel anyways::

Steph told me im such a strong person for dealing with all these things. They all tell me they cant beleive what ive gone though and how im still able to smile everyday...Show the world i can smile..

I dont want pity, or sympathy.

S0o i hide it all....all my veiled truths behind the smile.

I'll never let them see me in my moment of weakness...never see me cry.

Never again.

I write this now with such relaxation..simply remembering anger & fear...

Not caring anymore to dwell upon this life of mine, which s0o many times just feels meaningless.