I have these insecurities which everyone that knows me well, is aware of.

I've grown up with them...They put a fear in me, making it s0o hard fo me to commit to things,places...people...

I try, But every time i'm content with my life,or happy....i lose it.

I'm like a fuckin gypsy...contantly moving,Im always alone,losing friends & loved ones.

It's really not fair.

My main thing is just commitment...

because in the end it always hurts me.

I need someone to be with me..& not hurt me.

I can effort myself for a relationship...

If "hes" going to help me with my fear of being hurt again...

Eventually,or hopefully one day soon,

I'll have someone to love..

To love me...

To care & protect me.

::sighs::...I wish I could give up on this, but I don't know how to..

Only in "my hour of darkness"..where I momentarily gave up on caring...was my only time showing such weakness.

But just one moment is all it takes to show you've been defeated...

Giving up means you've lost...everything.

So I rose, but never forgetting how I let my guard down & just gave up like that.

Fuck insecurities...

I'll deal with them...

It's just a matter of time.